Tuesday, January 3, 2012

My daughter's @#$%& Teeth and a lovely quilt for 2012

Fact.  Redheads experience greater pain sensation than non-redheads.
Fact.  Redheads require more anesthesia than non-redheads.
Fact.  Redheads experience more anxiety when going to the dentist than non-redheads.

Question...why do I have 1 husband and 2 daughters who are redheads? 
Answer...because they're the best!!!  Except for the teeth-anxiety-greater pain sensation thing.

I feel a duty to all parents of redheads to post a tutorial on:

HOW TO PULL THE @#$%& TEETH OF A REDHEAD  
I have now pulled 4 of them...and nobody gave me any instructions.  This tutorial will probably also work for non-redheads, but I wouldn't know. 

The first 3 pullings were terrible.  This last pulling, started out terrible, I threatened to throw away Every. Single. Toy. Santa just brought her...not my loveliest moment I am sure.  Which she readily agreed to as long as I didn't pull her tooth!  According to the dentist, leaving a loose tooth in for too long can actually damage the tissue around it.  So it is not wise to let it just loosen and loosen more and more until it's dangling from a single thread...which we did for the last tooth.  Ahem.  Okay, lesson learned.

Step 1.  Prepare for the hyperventilating, weeping and waling, thrashing and clenching of jaws by mediating for approximately 3 hours before attempting the pulling of the tooth.  If you do not do this....there will be serious consequences.  As the puller you will resort to threatening violence and cruel punishments just to get the child to HOLD STILL and OPEN THEIR DATGUM MOUTH!!!! 

Step 2.  Have a couple of Kleenex handy.  This is the only tool you will need for the pulling of the tooth  That and a strong grip and much love for the child.

Step 3.  Have the child sit next to you.  If you are right-handed, have them sit on your left side for better leverage.  Vice Versa if you are left-handed.

Step 4.  Somehow get a firm grip on said tooth using the tissue.  It helps to make sure the tooth is not slimy and wet by drying it off first with one of the tissues.  This may require much reassuring that you promise you will not pull it!!!!!  And that you promise it will not hurt!!!!

Step 5.  Try and hook your right thumbnail as much as you can, under the tooth along the gums.  Don't pull and don't force it under (blech)!!!  Just get a nice grip that isn't slipping.

Step 6..  Have the child lean into you for a snuggle.  Ask them to rest their head on your shoulder all the while DO NOT LET GO OF THE @#$%& TOOTH FOR ANYTHING. 

Step 7.  As the child comes in for a snuggle, put your left arm around them and ever so slightly put a little pressure on the blasted tooth.  You will feel it give just a bit (gross, I know).  Resist the urge to pull hard which will only result in startling the child. I feel that them moving in for a snuggle and you moving your arm around them distracts them enough that you can put a wee bit of pressure without them actually know it.  Continue giving it the slightest pressure until it will POP out and the child won't even know it.  Zero pain...and for you zero aneurysm.  It's a win win.

Here is my latest block from  Swoon by Camille Roskelley  This was a tricky fabric to use as the fabric pattern had a lot of color variation over a large space.  So, where the middle has the purple and orange and turquoise a lot of the other pieces are more yellow...but I still love it.  Especially with the navy polka dots.  I think it anchors it. 

More Swoon to come!


Heather...mother and tooth puller extraordinaire!

3 comments:

  1. Very cute quilt pattern. And is that really true about redheads because if so we have at least one who is headed for trouble :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. It is true about redheads! They have done studies where they need more anesthesia and they have more anxiety when it comes to the dentist and they are more sensitive to pain. Crazy huh?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I saw firsthand how the grab and tug super hard doesn't really work. It only hurts and scares the little one. Causing them to not trust the parent in the vicinity of the tooth for ages.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. Love ya! XOXOXO

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...