Sunday, June 8, 2014

Chicken vs Toasted Marshmallow

The chicken makes it through okay.

Now, I'm just explaining this to you because you look nervous.

Because, we can stop now if you want.


Let's just quickly take a moment to reflect on, how good is The Princess Bride?

The fire pit got some good use last S'more night.  The s'mores were delicious and enjoyed by all...chickens included.

I never imagined I'd Google the phrase: "How to get marshmallow out of a chicken's feathers". Want to know something, Google doesn't have an answer for that.  WHAT?!?!  It's true.  So, here's how the night went down:

Loretta:  Mmmm, you're looking fine tonight.  Let me just have a wee nibble.

Dolly:  Fine, it's really messing up my gorgeous feathers.  Hey, no biting!

Loretta:  Yum!  I never knew how much I love marshmallows!  Hey, Starlight, get the heck out of here you fowl thing (haha), my marshmallow!

Starlight:  Whatevs, Loretta, I already called dibs...and ummmm, you've got a little something on your, not there, over there... no, the other side....

Starlight:  Ohhh yeah, I am all about toasted marshmallows!  Why doesn't Heather give us this for breakfast lunch and dinner instead of that crap chicken scratch, anyway?

Loretta:  Meh, it's all yours.  Hey, anybody got a mirror?  Apparently I've got a little something on my face...anyone?  Where's a parakeet when you need one?

Starlight:  Let me just....grab...get this little bit there.

Starlight:  Ohh, it's stuck just a bit let me pull harder...Soooo yummy.  You know what would really make this?  Chocolate and Graham Crackers...Hey, I just thought up a new recipe.  I'll call them...toasted marshmallows with meltsy chocolate sandwiched between two grahams.  Yeah, that's a catchy name.  HAHA I'm a genius!  Hey, Dolly, get back here...

Ginger: Hey guys, what's going on over here?  Wait a minute, wait a that toasted marshmallow all over you?!?! Come over here Dolly!  Hey, sorry about all those times I chased you around the yard trying to eat your poop, you're my favorite chicken...hey want some of my dog food?  Come on, sharing's caring you know...

Starlight:  Get the heck out of here Ginger.  Mmm got just a touch back here, let me just get that...Got it!

Dolly:  Well, I feel thoroughly hen pecked.  How's my hair look?

Dolly:  Boss Hen (that's me), can I get a hand here, the gals were no help.  Thanks for nothing, ladies!

And since Google was no help either, I decided to play it by ear, but unfortunately didn't get any pictures to share as I was busy taking care of business.  So I'll paint a picture for you.

Me:  Husband, help me grab her.
Husband: What?  Are you sure that's sanitary?
Me:  Sanitary?  No, but we've got to do something.  Fine, sit there, I'll grab her.  I proceed to grab chicken, making sure to hold tight to her wings so she doesn't smack me across the face with them.
Me:  Okay, now here, take her.  Hold onto her wings! I hand chicken off to husband and run inside and grab a dish towel, get it wet and put some dish soap on it.  Warm water and dish soap gets any mess out, right?  Run back outside and scrub Dolly's feathers as best I could.  Not a great job, but better than it was, I suppose.  And, the Mister only suffered a mildly bad scratch on his hand thanks to her vicious talons.  

Next Day
Feather update: Not a sticky smudge to be found.  Dolly was clean as a whistle and the other chickens in a pleasant sugar coma.   Lesson learned...don't let the chickens get anywhere near a fallen, toasted marshmallow.

Thanks for reading!

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